After a few days off, I came back to work to discover a multitude of emails, the vast majority of which did not concern me.
I particularly liked two, which had been sent by different people to "All Response Team Officers."
The first one read something along the lines of:
"Would all response team officers remember to park their cars "arse end" in to the walls, so that if an urgent call comes out, or an officer requesting assistance, officers are actually available to get there.
Critical time has been lost trying to negotiate getting the response vehicles out of the yard, and having an officer injured because of it is obviously unacceptable and has the potential for discipline issues."
Fair point. Next email:
"All response officers please note. Response cars MUST be parked face in to the walls at all times when parked in the yard - this not only reduces noise to people working in the Police Station, but also prevents the completely unnecessary problem of the exhaust fumes being blown in through windows when officers rev their engines.
This IS being monitored and disciplinary action will be considered against drivers who do not comply."
Laugh? I nearly started.
Please vote on which email I should obey - one officer on my relief has tried parking sideways against the wall, but he was in a long wheelbase public order carrier, which took up five spaces.
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29 comments:
I suggest neither, and in protest to what appears to me to be complete stupidity, park your car lengthways over as many parking spaces as possible.
Quite amusing! I do it is differently, depending on where I am parking.
Response station leave it with back to wall, ready for a quick getaway if called out.
NPT station, leave it with front to the wall, so I can get inside that bit faster for the well-deserved tea and biscuits!
Forward each email to the other (opposite) sender asking for clarification. Watch them email each other into submission.
Man alive! I'd go with the lenght ways option until they realise there mistakes!
Failing that I'd go arse end in, if people dont want fumes in their office tell them to shut their windows........... after all a quick response hits the target which should keep the people in the office happy!
Park facing out, makes the most sense.
And keep the email in the car for when someone comes a knocking.
Park on the street outside.
Do what my mate did, nose dive the car in front of the supers car at 1600 on a Friday night, lol.
Go this way(http://pcbloggs.blogspot.com/2008/09/caption-competition.html)
Please tell me that you're having a laugh with us
LOL!! I like Chris's idea!
Or...park arse end right outside the office of the person who told you to do the opposite. Rev loudly (that is just a temporary inconvenience to the person inside, the other could be the difference between getting away to a call quicky and safely). Tape copy of the email asking you to do so to rear-window to answer any questions...
I'd go with the revving of the engines and parking nose outward. Loved the link to PC Bloggs caption comp. Cheers Chris.
i would go with the nose out/arse to window option. its they way we do it with the ambulances.
Tell the person who wrote the second email to go read driving regs. It used to be in there that response cars had to be arse in else you'd get discipline. And I heard of traffic skippers who doled out points for it! Altho thats a few years back now
Get out the white paint and parking space sign and just write
"If you can read this, you're parking the wrong way round."
Having read the last thing to annoy you, clearly you're not meant to park but should remain in the cars at all times. Even when you're supposed to be doing some actual policing.
Print out a copy of each email and stick them in the window at the appropriate end of the car.
Wait a while the next email will say something else....
(Like parking the carrier across five spaces!)
we've got a sign on the wall of our yard "DO NOT REVERSE INTO PARKING BAYS" it looks great when you can see the front of all the astras beaming away underneath it.
Metcunty - you make no sense.
i think "anonymous" @ 13:29 has the right idea,
"Forward each email to the other (opposite) sender asking for clarification. Watch them email each other into submission."
then have a cup and a biscuit and watch them bludgeon each other via e-mail.
"gunner"
Really Area, this is a no-brainer!
The only thing that can be achieved with parking nose-out is that you can save time for things like "officer requesting assistance". However, like we all know, there are so few officers out there that that is almost never going to happen. And then, to think that someone who are inside the Nick should come out to save them? Please, that's just taking it too far!
On the other hand, there will always be a lot of people working inside the station (daytime, that is). And we KNOW that fumes will be dangerous and the noise will be a pain. Also, take into the consideration that the people inside the station are far more important than officers on the street. That is why wee keep them safely in the station in the first place.
Thus:
Response officers COULD be injured vs. someone of importance most certainly being somewhat bothered? Easy call!
Leave your car on its roof, perpendicular to the relevant wall. Paste a copy of both emails to each wheel.
Another indication that a lot of the time the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing...
My idea:
#1 Reverse the car into the usual space of the person who sent the email requesting that cars should not be reversed in. Stick a copy of the other email on the bonnet.
#2 Do the reverse in the parking space of the other numpty, complete with the opposing email taped to the boot.
Might take a bit of working out but it would be damn funny...
In the interim, reverse the cars in. If they don't want to put up with the car fumes, they should shut the windows and buy a fan.
Liv xxx
Surely the obvious thing to do is to tie a cat to the top of the car boot, and then some toast butter side up to the underneath of the engine?
As cats always land on their feet, aand toast always lands butter side down, the car should just hover in id air, constantly rotating as it does?
Wht piss off 50% of the people when you can keep everyone happy so easily?
all the best,
Jay
"Which-end-out" - It would appear this Station has at least one resident TIGER (Total Incompetent Given Elevated Rank)
See Wiki on "The Peter Principle" for the reasons this always happens in any hierarchy.
I'd go for 'arse-end' ciz if you were the officer on the floor...it's the same as the hats incident.
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