Tuesday, 3 July 2007

Yellow Clad Numpties

Working in the big city, and being close to the anniversary of the 7/7 bombings, not to mention the recent attacks, I get a raised level of attention from some of my friends; mainly I am being told to keep safe.

Some also want to know the "behind the scenes" story. I always hate to disappoint my friends, but the Home Secretary has stopped inviting me to the COBRA meetings after the incident with the water jug and the silk throw. I hardly ever get invited to the Commissioner's briefings either.

The fact of the matter is that I learnt about the attacks via Sky News. During 7/7 I learnt about the attacks via BBC news and the ones the week after 7/7 via BBC News as well. I was attached to a different department during 7/7 so I could spend time on the internet watching developments, and update other officers by text.


All this is a long winded way of saying that I do not know anything else that you don't. In fact, due to my shift work often I miss the news for a couple of days and you might even be better informed than me about current developments. I am sure that I am not the only copper that has been approached many times by members of public and asked "so what do you think about XYZ..." and had no idea what they are talking about.


However, I do have one piece of "insider" information. The Police have discovered something that is impervious to terrorist attacks, and frightens off the majority of terrorists. I am talking of course of the hi viz jackets. After any incident such as the attempted bombings, the hi viz comes out and PCs and Sgts are sent out to make the world a brighter, more yellow place.


This will of course prevent any further terrorist attacks - no terrorist however crazed would be fool enough to mess with us when we are wearing them.



EDIT - It seems even Inspectors get asked similiar questions and told to brighten up.... http://inspectorgadget.wordpress.com/2007/07/03/glasgow-bombs/

17 comments:

Hugh said...

swamping the area with yellow clad numpties worked with the IRA, they didn't want to get caught - these nutters don't really care.... mind you we should only get scared when they manage to recruit some nurses, because its them that make sure everything goes according to plan :)

BelfastPeeler said...

Well, at least thats one thing I can say about our now aging store of flak jackets, they only come in slimming black.

Personally I think the public will be more concerned not less that I've started signing out an MP5 each shift (even more so if they knew my marksmanship scores) but who am I to argue.

Area Trace No Search said...

belfastpeeler - our flak jackets are in black as well... we just get the added pleasure of wearing hi viz on top.

In July.

With a tie.

Did I mention our SMT have got rid of all the water coolers in the division to save money?

Mousie said...

I agree with Hugh.

The main reason this "terror attack" went off like a damp squib is likely to be because the good doctors didn't have any nurses on board to pass them a lighter / set up the cannisters / change gear for them / stir their tea / wipe their arses.

Only when they recruit some handmaidens need we start worrying!

Area Trace No Search said...

Agree totally about the Nurses - without them everything falls apart.

I can't imagine acheving anything on my frequent visits to A&E without the patience and help of the nurses.

dickiebo said...

Getting asked daft questions? Blimey that takes me back. I started in West End Central in 1959 and my 'baptism of fire' was to stand at Oxford Circus and answer two and a half million stoopid tourist questions. If only we had known of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (or summat like that!). Still haven't recovered.

Minty said...

Hope the high viz are waterproof too!
Quite frightening that people that incompetant are actually employed as Doctors.....
Good luck with the blog.

Falco said...

Not sure which of us is color blind but those things you call yellow sure as hell look lime green to me. But somebody out here has to the picker of nits.

Mousie said...

Ah minty, if only that bit had come as a surprise to me!

thoughts running through my head.... said...

at least you dont have to wear yellow al the time (unlike me 90% of the time)!!!SKY NEWS is the best briefing we ever get for anything.

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