Monday, 23 February 2009

Off Nights

A bit of advice for those of you lacking the requisite brain cells to think for yourselves.
As I do after finishing Night Duty.

When returning home from a long weekend set of nights, and stumbling half dead around your home at 0700 hours, do not be tempted to do first aid on yourself.

If you are, remember that the paste you are looking for in the medicine cabinet to soothe the cuts and scratches on your face is in fact Germolene - NOT Vicks Vapour Rub.

One is significantly more pleasant than the other to apply to your injuries.

That is all.

27 comments:

Blue Eyes said...

Is there such thing as a sympathy snigger?

Anonymous said...

Ouchie.

Reminds me of the time a college friend mistook Deep Heat for KY Jelly.

Tawny said...

OW OW OW OW OW!

Vetnurse said...

Forget the snigger bloody good belly laugh is more like it. :-))

Lola Snow said...

Nooooooooo! You didn't??? I guess the moral of that story is to not keep Vicks Vapour Rub in the house. That stuff is evil, and clearly designed by a sadist. Seriously, I think it's a good substitute if you run out of CS Gas. Just make sure you go for the eyes, and don't offer to rub it on their chests, although that might work just as well as a distraction it might not fully incapacitate the bad guys.

Lola x

MetAnon said...

i did something similarly painful while absent mindedly trying to medicate a shaving cut, but thats what you get for being late for early's because you went out the night before...that'll teach me

Constable Confused.com said...

Can I be a bit mean and call you a biff?

That's really quite funny. Have you got a cold by the way? This would have helped immensely if you did.

Have a good few days off.

CC.C

Anonymous said...

haha, haven't done anything like that myself, yet.

Metcountymounty said...

I bet you looked like Macaulay Culkin in home alone when that one hit :o)

I sterilised a rather nice slice to the back of my hand with alcohol gel in custody once at 4am (good idea at the time) the skipper had to change his shirt after his coffee came out his nose.

Dark Side said...

No no no...you didn't? Ouch..xx

Noddy said...

Fly on the wall moment! ps how did you come by the injuries?

Anonymous said...

Ow - oh you twunt - ow

Sympathise as I gave myself concussion a few days ago by walking into the carboot.
j

Hogday said...

ATNS, Whatever you do, never, never be the one to reach for the lube in moments of passion in the dark. BAD scenes will follow.

TWINING said...

I can empathise with you man, I feel for you buddy. I was on an early a few months back. I was running late and found what appeared to look like a deodorant bottle in my son's cupboard. I began to spray it under my arm, I smelt it; it didn’t smell nice. And it wasn't deodorant; it was RALGEX. My next reaction, was a panic, and then the thought, what do I do now? Do I call Mrs Twining? I rapidly made my way to the bathroom. I proceeded to then wash my arm under the sink. That didn’t seem to work and after another shower I made my way to work and stood with my arms at right angles all morning reeking of RALGEX. There are some things your team of police officer’s will never let you live down and this is what makes police culture special.

Louise said...

Awwwww!!!!! I feel your pain!!!

Although must admit I did chuckle a little! Sorry!

petoskystone said...

i am so sorry!!!:) the only thing i ever mistook vicks for was chapstick (lip gloss--sorta). hope that you actually *will* get a few days off to recuperate.

PC Michael Pinkstone said...

You have defined the word "wince".

powdergirl said...

Ouch. I blew 1/3 of the skin off my body several years ago. My home care nurse made similar errors, TWICE. Not too bad with the 3rd degree bits, but 1st and 2nd? hallelulja !!!
Like a cattle-prod in an open wound.

TheBinarySurfer said...

That has to be quite painful...

It is fun to occasionally screw with people though and move things around in the morning. Made one of my ex's toothpaste her hair once.

/Snigger

Hogday said...

Binary, have you worked out the connection between your pranks and your string of ex's? :(

TheBinarySurfer said...

Hogday - theres a connection?

Fee said...

Ow. Really, really ow.

Reminds me of the time my mum told the teenage me to dab some Vicks on my nose to help a cold. She meant a wee bit on the outside of the nose. I shoved a blob into my nose. It was several hours before my eyes stopped running. It was at least a week before I could smell anything but Vapo-rub.

Blue Eyes said...

I just hope you leave your CS at work. Wouldn't want to confuse that tin with one of those travel deodorants...

kingmagic said...

After a rather busy night shift (as they all are!) I came home and got a quick shower.

Not wanting to have honking armpits after knocking out zeds I decided to use a bit of deoderant.

Unfortunately in my befuddled state I picked up my wifes hairspray which was next to my deo!

I slept in the shape of a big letter T!

And it stung!

And it smelt worse than honking armpits!

lightsandsirens said...

Long time no post, didn't die from your self first aid did you? First rule of first aid: let someone else do it :-)

cogidubnus said...

My first wife, genuinely attempting to be helpful, once applied "Deep Heat" to my piles...

I will say no more...but our subsequent estrangement was oddly NOT connected with this incident!

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