Saturday, 28 November 2009

Today is Yesterday's Tomorrow

I was drinking with a good friend and colleague of mine recently, and ended up thinking back to my college days. My first kiss was from a girl a couple of years older than me, called Denise.
Her Dad ran the local scrapyard.
The song "Stuck on You" by Lionel Richie was playing and I was frankly terrified.
And slightly bemused, if I'm completely honest.

Anyway, shortly afterwards she broke up with me and went out with my mate Dale. Dale was shorter than most people of our age, but a great footballer. Fair's fair.

Fast forward a year or two (ok, maybe quite a lot more) and I've had my fair share of break ups and break downs.

The interesting thing is that I've managed to break up with and be broken up with, and on each occasion I've managed to do it without involving the Police.
Yet, I often feel I'm in a minority there. As any Police Officer knows, no matter how ridiculous you may think your 'issues' are, our informants from our calls can always beat them.

There is almost nothing that will not be sent down to a patrol unit to deal with. Unfortunately, if a call is a "type 29" - ie a domestic, then a unit will have to attend. Regardless of whether a crime has been committed or even alleged. In fact, regardless if a crime is even possible.
A domestic type call is anything that refers to a call between a husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, exes of any description, siblings, parents, family members and any sexual partners past and present.

In the incestuous estates we inhabit on our day to day patrols, these are most of our suspects, victims and witnesses.

As soon as the domestic tag is applied to a call, then everything that follows is out of our hands. If we attend and there is no allegation at all, no injuries, no hint of violence, then we only have to do the following: Full statement from each party involved; A statement from the officer on scene; A twenty six page domestic violence book; A Full 'non-crime' Crime report on the computer (taking between forty five minutes and an hour and half dependant on typing skills); A seperate computer report on any children or vulnerable people in the premises or involved in any way. So you result the call, justifying your actions. Then complete all the above, justifying your actions. Then you bring all the above to your Sergeant, so he or she can then justify your actions.

Keep in mind that these are for NON crimes. When there has been a crime or an allegation made, then obviously you arrest and all the above is used as evidence.

Amongst the many, many calls I have been to needing all the above for a non-crime domestic are a psychic wife who had had visions that something bad was going to happen to her husband, a woman who had called police because her boyfriend wouldn't get off the computer (relatively common, that), a woman who had called police as her boyfriend had cheated on her and wanted him arrested for it, and many, many "threats" by text. Of the "u slag u shaged tracy an shes got hiv i hop u get cancr" type.

Examples from other officers are always welcome.

I'm in a stable relationship at the moment, but even in my worst relationships I have never felt the need to call my colleagues down to join in. In fact, I've always wanted to keep my private life... well, private.

Am I alone in this?


TonyF said...


As someone who went through traumatic divorce ( some years ago ) I remember how many times the police were involved... Yep, none. Although I was taken to the cleaners, no crime had been committed.

These idiots that cannot sort their lives out without calling the police to do it for them, should be warned that after the first visit, that they will be billed for any subsequent visits, on an escalating scale. Now that would be a real revenue earner, that no one could object to!

Chapati said...

Not the only one...

Still in a little bit of shock that you'd be called to arrest someone who'd been on the computer too long...

Girl*Next*Door said...

I totally agree with you. I have been dumped in one or two particularly 'you bastard' ways & also had some not very nice things go on in one relationship & never has calling the police to sort my personal out entered my mind.

At the messiest (physical violence) points in my parents marriage I didn't feel the need to call the police (although in hindsight I absolutely should have done) & would have felt guilty had I have done so.

How do people get to the point where they feel the need & feel justified in calling the police over a text message?
Or too much computer use?

Joe90 said...

No, you are not alone my friend.

Blue Eyes said...

Are you saying that short blokes shouldn't get the girl?

Anonymous said...

I expect I will be also be terrified when I get my first kiss.

I have never had to call the police. The only dealings I had before I joined was a couple of times when I was a victim.

Anonymous said...

In my force we have to complete a non crime domestic report which includes having to asks some extremely personal questions, most of which are not applicatable for most of the "domestics" we attend, followed by forms submitted to social services for children, dispite the fact they were never there to witness it. I hope we never get to the stage of obtaining statements.

The trouble is the domestics we attend are to people that love telling their life story and want all the attention. Our descretion on whether there are any really underlining problems having spoken to both parties for 5 minutes has completely vanished and we cannot turn round and say this is a pile of crap and clear the job as such.

Archivegirl said...

No your not. But when ex's result to stalking and harrassment I think it is legitimate to at least threaten action. As someone who has had this and done this, it did sort out the problem. I didn't want to at first thinking that he would get the message but it drove me to my limit and i felt persecuted for being me and that is no state to be in. On the otherhand I didn't want to tell anyone that this had been happening, I felt ashamed. In the end I suppose it is just upto the person's state of mind.

Hogday said...

TonyF: I think you may have used the same solicitors as I did. Doing nothing wrong doesn't seem to make a shred of difference - its just a bloody exercise in accounting. Not bitter at all.......;)

Hogday said...

PS: Almost forgot my example. Wife calls us because husband took a fiver out of her purse without asking. Result, I kicked them both out of their own house to go for a 30 minute walk in opposite directions. They did too. Soft boiled eggs for brains.

"gunner" said...

"keeping private life private." good idea, the missus and i are coming up on our 43rd anniversary together tomorrow, (3 december) and we've managed to do without needing to involve the police the whole time. we've had our little spats, no mistake, but when things got too intense i'd "fight" with my hat, putting it on and going for a drive for an hour or two to cool off. in these later years the things that caused "little spats" seem rather less important than being together for what years we have remaining.

"gunner" said...

to yours of 1715hrs (gmt), good common sense "police work", that's how my local (u.s.) town cops would handle it if there was no physical violence involved.

kingmagic said...

There should be a consequence for anyone calling the Police...crime committed = arrests crime committed (except that of being 'thick' and a serial 'chav') = proportionate paperwork or time taken up for caller to close the call. This would deter stupid calls...maybe!

TheBinarySurfer said...

I've always wanted to keep my private life... well, private.

You and I and all the other (rapidly dwindling in number) normal people out there share that sentiment, but unfortunately it's "normal" to them to do this.

It's the left "there is no right and wrong" crowd at fault again.

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