Sunday, 7 December 2008

The Bear Returns

Yet another shift with too many calls, yet another parade room with too few officers, yet another station yard with not enough Police Cars to get out and start assigning callsigns to calls.

Yet another evening in the company of Ruffles. You may have to read that link for this to make any sense.

Once again I have spent a shift driving our Sergeant around. I think it is supposed to be a compliment (and of course he keeps asking questions that I will be forced to regurgitate in March).
Apparently it is 'Good Experience.'

Blackstones never mentioned keeping a temperamental teddy bear happy though.

Once again, Ruffles was strapped into our super powered diesel car in the back seat and stayed safely there, unless excitement happened.
Once again we went to a fire, and once again Ruffles was placed on the dashboard.
Apparently not only does he like fire, he also "loves seeing firemen in their uniform."











Ruffles at scene at an incident. His identity has been protected



My Sergeant has been working on response for most of his twenty two year career. People talk about the risks of Policing, and the effects of shift work...

After my first post about Ruffles, a few people suggested some ideas for dealing with him. What I am worried about is the effect it could have on my Sergeant's morale. Seeing him proudly sitting Ruffles by the computer in the parade room is somehow heart warming.

Ruffles also has an inappropriate sense of humour. At one point we went to a very nasty scene. Blood everywhere, withshocked officers standing in silence, ashen faced and monosyllabic when asked questions.
You know things are bad when the usual cynical comments are not forthcoming from either the coppers or ambo at the scene.

After we had left, Ruffles proceeded to tell a very long and tenuous inappropriate joke.
At least, I think he did.
My Sergeant 'translated' for him.

Help?

32 comments:

Rae!xx said...

Lol....we love ruffles...xx

Vetnurse said...

ROFLMAO make the most of it.
You could have some po faced idiot who has the sense of humour of a nasty pitbull, as evil as parvo smell (very nasty) and the knowledge that would make a pin head look large.

Blue Eyes said...

Mad but on your side, by the sound of it.

Lola Snow said...

If Ruffles likes fire that much, perhaps he would like a closer look at some?

Not too close mind. It really would be a tragedy if he was to accidently go up in flames, and lets face it. Those toys go up like dry kindling.

Especially if they have been fire retarded with WD40.

Lola x

2 Robins said...

Blue eyes said:
"Mad but on your side, by the sound of it."

Perhaps a mini strait jacket... Would be interesting to see the look on his face....

Anonymous said...

Area. You are my team's area car driver and I claim my five pounds.

chivester said...

This reminds me of having my annual appraisal done by a stuffed dragon. The owner of the stuffed dragon is now a monk. I'm unsure if there are any conclusions to draw from this.

twenty one years and counting said...

ATNS, your sergeant's behaviour is a well-known and reliable diagnostic precursor to what we in the trade call "a medical pension". I have previous experience of several similar cases, one of which involved the subject performing a trapeze display on any locally erected scaffolding whilst accompanying impressionable young PCs on foot patrol. I'm surprised you have not yet identified the syndrome.

Julian Meteor said...

LOL ATNS - sounds like you are DEFO cracking up!!!!!!!!
You have TOTALLY lost your marbles!!! rofl

Hogday said...

ATNS, this is a classic case of preparing for going over the top (remember Capt. Blackadder,underpants on head,pencils up nose, wibble?).
He is carefully laying out his defence to any disciplinary offence he may attract (plentiful as a custody sgt) as well as getting his medical retirement and full pension after 26 years. Seen it before although when I witnessed it, the Sgt was actually wearing his boxer shorts, helmet and boots, whilst directing traffic using his truncheon. Watch and wait!

weepeecee said...

Area, I think you should make some Ruffles t-shirts.

Hogday said...

As per weepeecee above, YES! an "Agony Column" where Auntie (or Uncle) Ruffles answers his/her fans questions on marital discord, helpful hints on dealing with that `aloof` inspector, debt, erectile disfunction....this could run and run. And I want 10% of the medical pension for suggesting it first.

Dale said...

After making absolutely sure that Ruffles is not being familiarised with the job for the glorious day he is put in charge, orchestrate an incident in a toy shop / plush toy factory / childrens home, and have everyone on duty insist that ruffles takes charge of the incident. From that day on turn only to Ruffles for advice and instruction, until your man gets his well earned crazy pay?

cooperman said...

Area,

i stand by my coment in the previous RUFFLES comment, i can provide a BLACK OP to remove him (ruffles) from your life/station.

coops

Paul said...

Brilliant!

That ruffles always makes me laugh, keep it coming!!!

petrolhead said...

How about a Section 135...? That could work!

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TheBinarySurfer said...

Is your sarge angling for a spot of medical leave?

I trust ruffles has been given the standard 2 weeks diversity training, as well as the obligatory 5 minutes defence/arrest training!

Julian Meteor said...

There is a vite for the best police blog??????????????????????????????????? lol
We do NOT need to vote - ATNS is a SHOO in!!!!!!!! rofl (ruffle!!!!!!! JOTD? - Joke of the day)
!!!!!!!!!!
lmfao

Noddy said...

Cuddly Toys rule.

Anonymous said...

At least it's a bear, and not a sock puppet...

Girl*Next*Door said...

Just wait until he tries to source a uniform for Ruffles, including all the public order gear. You know it's going to happen.....!

Vetnurse said...

I recon under police "diversity" rules Ruffles will get all he wants. You can not sack him as it would be unfair to teddy bears and victimise him.
In other words it would knock the stuffing out of him.

Si said...

and what was Ruffle's joke?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Julian Meteor said...

LOL!!!!!!
Tough guy he AIN'T!!!!!! lol
Smart guy he *CERTAINLY* ain't!!!!!!!!!

ROFL.

What a STRANGE writing style!!!!

TWINING said...

I have an idea! let's do a raid on ruffles! Who is ruffles?

TWINING said...

I have another idea.Let's takehim to Station Sergeant.

Bobbi said...

Groan. What fun.

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