Thursday 29 November 2007


Maybe it's because I didn't do enough of it as a teenager, but I cannot resist the urge to rebel sometimes, and the Police with the disciplined rank structure offers the perfect place to do it.

In a nice way, obviously.

I have a strict personal code - I never stray as high as "Bad Behaviour" and generally stick to "Sillyness" or occasional bouts of "Slight Naughtiness."

Recently a few of us were in work for an extended tour of duty on an operation. In the wonderful way of the Police, we had paraded at 0600hours, had a briefing, had some breakfast, then were sitting around for the marked carriers to come in for us to use. Which were due in (in an example of amazing planning) at 0800hours from the night duty operation.

I was not with my usual relief, but knew a few of the lads from my previous team. One of them, I'll call Terry, had a penchant for sillyness as well.

Once we'd arranged and had the quick knock out round of office chair races, we decided to see if we could toboggan down the fire escape on the public order shields.

It was going excellently, the corners were managed with no problem at all. Myself and Terry braved it and tried going down the stairs simultaneously on shields.

What fun.

That is, until we met the Superintendant coming up the stairs. I shouted for him to get out the way, and he flattened himself against the wall, only to turn and watch me... and promptly got "taken out" by Terry who was behind me.

Of course, when you are hit by a public order shield with fifteen stone of copper on it, there's not much you can do about it, and Terry and the Superintendant slid down the escape clutching each other in a desparate embrace.

As I fell off the shield at the bottom, Terry and the Superintendant slid to a halt next to me, and I lay on the ground giggling. The Superintendant was too surprised to know what to do - finding yourself in the middle of a shield race at 0700hours is not the best way to start the day.

We stood up. The Superintendant looked at us, dishevelled, guilty, and holding back giggles.

Super: "Do you have any idea what you are doing?"
Area: "I'm sure there's no actual written rule against it sir."
Super: "My office, ten minutes"

Oh bugger. Me and Terry know the route well, but it's not a journey we enjoy.
Both of us stood in the yard, as our serial filed past, led by Pissed Sergeant, with faces full of smugness.

We heard a scraping noise start. It seemed to be coming from the stairs. I rolled my eyes, knowing that another PC was trying the same thing and was no doubt going to be joining us in the SMT office. Pissed Sergeant smiled evilly and positioned himself at the bottom of the stairs.

As the uniformed officer slid out and fell off, giggling, Pissed Sergeant reached over and hauled him upright.
Pissed Sergeant: "You daft bugger... oh, morning Sir"
Breathless Superintendant: "Er. Morning Sergeant. There was a shield left upstairs I thought you might need."
Area:(thinking quickly) "Thank you Guv. Shall we come up to your office now?"
Super: "Hmmm. Possibly not. Well, good to see you are keeping morale up. If you hurt yourselves, don't even think about claiming an injury on duty."
Area: "No sir, thank you sir."
Super: "And put your tie on."
Area: "Sir."

I miss that Superintendant, he left to play with guns and the division hasn't been the same since.


Sevesteen said...

Reading this at work, I'm glad it is night shift and nobody is around to hear me laughing.


Area Trace No Search said...

Good to know you are allowed internet access!

I'm not... anymore....

Don't ask.

Area Trace No Search said...

Oh, by the way - Sevesteen, I've added you on my blog list, something I should have done a long time ago.

Please don't take it personal, there are quite a few people I should add but forget to...

Sevesteen said...

I don't take that at all personally--I write for my own satisfaction, not fame and fortune :)

Anonymous said...

that reminds me of the time i was visiting the mess at a canadian army regimental mess with my daughter, my daughter wasn't comfortabl in the officer's mess so one of "captain alan's" female cadets took lili marlene to the corporal's mess, and as it was her 19th birthday and she that day became legal to drink in ontario she found herself with two handsome corporals competing to buy drinks for the pretty yank. meanwhile in the officer's mess we got up to a game of "tunnel rats" overturning furniture to make the tunnels which we then all tried to crawl through at the same time while trying to avoid a large canadian army boot in the face.

Anonymous said...

Just how long ago did you leave school?

Sparkly Dancer said...

Heeheehee, I sooooo want to do that... All I need are some stairs and the other yoke... :D

Dark Side said...

Sounds like great fun, it's great when you can have these his face was a picture..xx

Anonymous said...

I so want to be teamed with someone like you should I get in. God that sounds hilarious!

What a great guy though :o)

Misty said...

"when you are hit by a public order shield with fifteen stone of copper on it, there's not much you can do about it"

Thanks for the tip.


Sevesteen said...

Hijacking a bit--You said over on my blog

"As a small point - in the UK, a fight between siblings (if adult) is very much considered a domestic."

What is the difference in penalty between brothers fighting and non-family fighting?

thoughts running through my head.... said...

FPMSL!!!I wish it was more like that where I work,the best I get is messing about with the side alleys!

TWINING said...

Brilliant stuff ASNT.

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