OFFICERS policing yesterday's student demonstrations have returned to work with serious injuries rather than admit they were hurt by some ponce called Ollie.
Many have claimed they were run over by a horse or fell off a drunk woman in a holding cell in a bid stop their colleagues finding out they were banjoed by some humanities-studying dipshit from Buckinghamshire.
Assistant commissioner, Roy Hobbs, said: "If the criminal element know we can be knocked on our arses by somebody sporting an absurd sense of entitlement and a man-bag we may as well set fire to the whole city right now."
Hundreds of protesters were 'kettled' during yesterday's demonstration, drawing comparisons with 1970's Kent State Massacre from a first-year history student with a full bladder and a head full of monkey turd.
But violence erupted as soon as police moved the crowd into a 3G black spot, leaving many unable to update their Twitter feeds with comments that will come back to haunt them when they are earning six figures at HSBC.
One police officer said: "I never thought I'd be kicked in the face by a pair of Doc Martens with daisies painted on them.
"When I got home, I told the wife I was in the evidence lockup pinching the kids some Christmas presents when a load of seized pornorgraphy fell on my head.
"If she knew the truth I'd be little more than a PCSO in her eyes and that's no kind of life."
Ollie Bishop, a furious and passionate 19 year-old from High Wycombe, added: "Gotta get down to it, soldiers are gunning us down. Should have been done long ago. What if you knew her and found her dead on the ground? How can you run when you know?
"Actually - forget that - she's fine. I think she just dropped her iPad."
News story courtesy of The Daily Mash
Thanks to my good friend Blue Eyes for pointing me towards this.
Sunday 28 November 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
70 comments:
I thought you would like it ;-)
Nice work. :-)
ROFL. Ah that rush of real adrenaline for the first time. How the students from the shires must treasure their first demo - YAAAAAAWN.
Hah, nice.
Sorry, slightly off topic, but I have been wondering for a while now, what is the significance of your title 'Area Trace No Search'?
As a Newbie, I am always searching online for articles that can help me. Thank you Wow! Thank you! I always wanted to write in my site something like that. Can I take part of your post to my blog?
Shijuro told me once that we was a racist and that was why they took him off repsonse and put him on the front desk
Slightly off topic but nice to see Copperfield back....well, er, if only for a brief sales promotion.
And save for a new format in loo roll, plodbook sales look set for a Kamikaze dive this Christmas. When Gadget started using her Friday sickies to sell the Big Issue with half price wristbands, I guess she had wind of it.
Sh1juro, me old mate be advised that -
- it is probably not wise to put he word :"c*nt" on their blog and then have a link to a picture of a phallus - which to be bruatlly honest, looks suspiciously like a children's toy.
The sort of toy that a certain sort of man might present to his children .
....at least that is what could be easily pointed out by a good solicitor when presenting certain facts to a court as a precursor to visitation rights.
Get my drift?
phiangle - I'm hoping this isn't a waaah attempt.
Anyway, a common radio phrase used by us is "Area Search, no trace" , eg. the area of offence has been searched for persons matching description of suspects etc, no trace thereof.
I would imagine ATNS is having a bit of a "play on words".
@officer and a lady
Thank you for that!
Phi
People don't leave because things are hard. People do leave because it's no longer worth it.
______________________________
Tera Gold Cheap
Runescape Gold
Tera Account
Being a Rookie, I'm always searching on line for Cheapest wow goldcontent articles that can help me. Thank you Wow! Thanks! Which i planned to compose within my site something like that.Buy rs gold Can I participate within your submit for you to our website?
I am very much excited after getting this blog, it was an awesome experience to be here and read such an amazing articles.
What nice message
Wonderful blog! I genuinely appreciate the way it? s effortless on my eyes also as the information are nicely written. I'm questioning how i could be notified whenever a new post continues to be created. I've subscribed for your rss feed which will need to accomplish the trick! Possess a good day!
Wonderful blog! I genuinely appreciate the way it? s effortless on my eyes also as the information are nicely written. I'm questioning how i could be notified whenever a new post continues to be created. I've subscribed for your rss feed which will need to accomplish the trick! Possess a good day!
Traditional Queen thus piece of Throughout attached between the bottom of the back of [url=http://www.onlyyoutony.com]polo ralph lauren[/url]presidency of the United States and more out how to safely install my baby's vehicle [url=http://www.onlyyoutony.com]ralph lauren[/url]unprecedented success rate when they latch release is a single piece of solid http://www.onlyyoutony.com[/url] hand out for you Offer an incentive for them the fact that people are embracing
It is my great pleasure to visit your website and to enjoy your excellent post here. I like that very much.
looking around some blog, seems a pretty simple and best platform you are using. I'm currently using Wordpress for a few years of my sites but looking to change one of them over to a new platform like this furniture manufacturers in india
Fastidious response in return of this question with solid arguments and describing the whole thing about
that.
Also visit my web site: starcraft 2 beta key
Thanks for the FANTASTIC post! This information is really good and thanks a ton for sharing it :-) I m looking forward desperately for the next post of yours.. Furniture Stores
Useful information shared. I am very happy to read this article. Thanks for giving us nice info. Fantastic walk through. I appreciate this post. Stock Tips
Hi this one is great and is really a good post. I think it will help me a lot in the related stuff and is very much useful for me. Very well written I appreciate & must say good job.. Stock Tips
Hi, Thanks for your great post, there are much nice information that I am sure a huge number of guys and gals don’t know. intraday tips
I am genuinely delighted to glance at this web site posts which consists of tons of helpful facts, thanks for providing such statistics.
Also visit my web blog; Diaper Rash Remedies
Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular post!
It is the little changes which will make the most significant changes.
Thanks a lot for sharing!
My homepage; Unknown
Woah! I'm really loving the template/theme of this site. It's simple, yet effective.
A lot of times it's hard to get that "perfect balance" between superb usability and appearance. I must say you've done
a superb job with this. Additionally, the blog loads super quick for me on
Internet explorer. Superb Blog!
my web page :: Unknown
Hi my loved one! I wish to say that this post is amazing, nice written and include
almost all vital infos. I'd like to peer extra posts like this .
Feel free to surf to my website Http://Juliauwl.Momaroo.com
Hi, i think that i saw you visited my weblog so i came
to “return the favor”.I'm trying to find things to improve my site!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!
Feel free to surf to my web blog :: Unknown
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this write-up and the rest of the website
is very good.
my web page: Download 7Zip
Woah! I'm really loving the template/theme of this blog. It's simple, yet effective.
A lot of times it's very hard to get that "perfect balance" between user friendliness and visual appeal. I must say you've done
a amazing job with this. Also, the blog loads very quick for me on Internet explorer.
Outstanding Blog!
Feel free to surf to my weblog; unknown
Link exchange is nothing else except it is just placing the
other person's webpage link on your page at suitable place and other person will also do same for you.
my web blog; Unknown
I could not resist commenting. Exceptionally well written!
Take a look at my homepage - Unknown
I know this if off topic but I'm looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is required to get setup? I'm assuming having
a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I'm not very internet savvy so I'm not 100% positive.
Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks
Here is my blog - Stretch marks
Hi there to every one, as I am really eager of reading
this website's post to be updated daily. It contains fastidious data.
Also visit my weblog :: Dragonvale Cheats
You ought to take part in a contest for one
of the most useful blogs on the web. I'm going to recommend this website!
My blog :: Christieb.momaroo.com
Hi there everybody, here every one is sharing such knowledge, so it's nice to read this website, and I used to visit this website daily.
Here is my web blog - unknown
What's Going down i'm new to this, I stumbled upon this I've discovered It absolutely helpful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & assist other customers like its aided me. Good job.
Review my webpage :: coconut oil For Hair
Hi there! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog.
Is it very hard to set up your own blog? I'm not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I'm thinking about creating my own but I'm not sure where to start. Do you have any points or suggestions? Cheers
Also visit my site; coconut Oil for hair
Hey there! This post could not be written any better!
Reading through this post reminds me of my good old room mate!
He always kept talking about this. I will forward this page to him.
Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!
Also visit my blog post; World Of Tanks Hack
I don't even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I don't know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you aren't already ;) Cheers!
Feel free to surf to my blog post; unknown
Wonderful article! We will be linking to this particularly great content on our
site. Keep up the great writing.
Feel free to visit my web page ... how to jailbreak a ps3
Woah! I'm really loving the template/theme of this website. It's simple, yet effective.
A lot of times it's hard to get that "perfect balance" between superb usability and visual appeal. I must say you have done a superb job with this. Also, the blog loads extremely fast for me on Chrome. Superb Blog!
Here is my page; Dry Scalp Treatments
Have you ever considered publishing an e-book or guest authoring on other sites?
I have a blog centered on the same ideas you discuss and would
really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my subscribers would
appreciate your work. If you're even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e mail.
my web page: Microsoft Office Gratuit
Thanks for the good writeup. It in reality was
once a amusement account it. Look complicated to
more introduced agreeable from you! By the way,
how could we keep in touch?
my web page - Psn Code Generator
My coder is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP.
I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses.
But he's tryiong none the less. I've been using WordPress on a number of websites for
about a year and am concerned about switching to another
platform. I have heard great things about blogengine.
net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it?
Any help would be really appreciated!
Here is my blog: Www.Dailymotion.com
I was more than happy to discover this great site.
I wanted to thank you for your time just for this fantastic read!
! I definitely appreciated every part of it and i also have you
book marked to check out new things on your site.
Here is my blog: The interlace
Hey! I understand this is sort of off-topic but I had
to ask. Does running a well-established website such as yours require a lot of work?
I'm brand new to operating a blog but I do write in my diary every day. I'd
like to start a blog so I can share my own experience and feelings online.
Please let me know if you have any kind of recommendations or tips for new aspiring bloggers.
Thankyou!
Visit my homepage - Psn Code Generator
I seldom write remarks, but i did some searching and wound
up here "MORTIFIED POLICE DENY BEING INJURED BY PONCES".
And I do have 2 questions for you if you do not mind. Could it be only me or does it appear like
a few of the remarks appear like left by brain dead visitors?
:-P And, if you are writing on additional sites, I'd like to keep up with everything fresh you have to post. Would you make a list of the complete urls of your community pages like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?
Visit my blog; Candy Crush Saga Hack
finasteride 5mg propecia lawsuit - where to buy propecia online forums
Hi! I've been following your web site for some time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Humble Texas! Just wanted to mention keep up the good job!
Feel free to visit my site: Dragon City Cheat Engine
When I originally commented I clicked the "Notify me when new comments are added" checkbox and now each time a comment is added I
get four emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me
from that service? Appreciate it!
Feel free to visit my blog post :: code Psn gratuit
Hey, I think your website might be having browser compatibility
issues. When I look at your blog in Firefox, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer,
it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you
a quick heads up! Other then that, fantastic
blog!
Also visit my website ... world of tanks hack
I am truly thankful to the holder of this web site who has shared this wonderful paragraph at here.
my web page :: League Of Legends Hack
What's up, of course this post is in fact good and I have learned lot of things from it concerning blogging. thanks.
Feel free to surf to my web-site - Free Psn Codes
Nice post. I learn something new and challenging
on blogs I stumbleupon everyday. It will always be interesting to read content from
other authors and use a little something from their websites.
Take a look at my web site ... Psn Code Generator
Really no matter if someone doesn't know afterward its up to other users that they will help, so here it occurs.
Here is my web site; Codes Psn Gratuit
Thanks very interesting blog!
my web-site Minecraft Crack ()
this is the awesome blog for i am waiting from along time…..and i m now able to gain some of the useful information......
so nice of you having great posts like your blog. it will help me a lot for the initiative infornmation….. -
I appreciate the efforts you people put in to share blogs on such kind of topics, it was indeed helpful. Keep Posting!
advertising | top advertising agencies in Pakistan | Marketing Agency | Advertisement
I really enjoy to read all the content is posted on your blog. It's easy to read, the content is great, and you’re an,
You described it very beautiful. your writing style grabbed my intentions,would love to read more about it…
Thanks for sharing such a fastidious opinion, paragraph is fastidious, thats why i have read it entirely
our work is very good and I appreciate you and hopping for some more informative posts. thank you for sharing great information to us
Great post, thanks for sharing information.
Intraday Trading Stocks
Profit Vista Reviews
Greetings! Very helpful advice within this post! It is the little changes that will make the most important changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!
car shipping deleware
Thanks for this post. It proves very informative for me. Great post to read.
If you are looking for the top security companies in London that provide its customer with remarkable security services. Check out this site for security services security guard agency in London
Thanks for this post. It proves very informative for me. Great post to read.Keep Blogging.
Looking for Roller blinds, Wooden blinds, Cheap blinds, or Curtains and Venetian blinds, and more, in Nottingham and surrounding areas like Derby, Mansfield, Leciester, East Midlands or Luton? Day Blinds offers superior window solutions at unmatched prices.Visit our site for Pleated blinds Nottingham
Post a Comment